The Season for Giving…and Receiving

For it is in giving that we receive. ~ St. Francis of Assisi

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I love decorating the house (and every bush and tree nearby); buying the right gift for each friend and family member; eating Christmas pudding and drinking sorrel; gathering with friends and family; the smell of the Christmas tree and baking permeating the house; the endless Christmas carols floating through the air (sometimes as early as September), and going to Church to reminisce and give thanks for the original Christmas.

 

While it is nice to receive gifts at Christmas, it also seems to be a time that people become kinder, gentler and more compassionate towards one another. My experience this year, however, has shown me that it is not only at Christmas that people give, and there are many more gifts I have received than those that are prettily wrapped and placed under a tree. These gifts include:

A listening ear.
I have received many phone calls, text or WhatsApp messages from friends and even acquaintances asking how I am doing now. As simple as this may seem, the volume of these calls and messages have indicated to me that many people do care, which has been very heartening. I am more than willing to reassure persons that I am fine and to dispel any myths that persons with cancer are always sick and in pain, as this has not been my experience.

A helping hand.
While I can still do most things I did before my diagnosis and subsequent surgeries, offers to take me to Chemotherapy treatments, to pick up my daughter from school, and to take me to events that I may not want to go to alone, are more valuable to me than the most expensive piece of jewelry.  I recently ran the Reggae Marathon 10k, and while I was happy to complete the race, I was more overwhelmed by the volume of congratulatory messages, and the number of persons who supported me in this endeavor.

Time.
Sometimes a ten-minute visit can lift my spirits for an entire week. The fact that in this day of instant messaging, face to face visits seem more to be a thing of the past, increases the value of that visit when someone takes the time to come and see you. I truly appreciate all those persons who made the trek up my mountain, no matter how short the visit.

Patience.
Although it may seem that I am always positive, (and 97 percent of the time, I am) there are occasional days when I drag my feet as I struggle to withstand the onslaught of self pity which threatens to rear its ugly head. It is at these times, your patience and understanding that my sharp words or morose demeanor are merely temporary, help me to overcome this challenge.

Prayers.
The amount of persons who have indicated they are praying for me, has been astounding. Not only family and friends, but also acquaintances and persons who have never even met me, continue to keep me in their prayers. If prayers really lift you up, I am somewhere near the Moon by now.

The remarkable thing about giving these gifts, is that in giving them, we can receive gifts in return. In spreading my story and encouraging women to get their mammograms done, to date over 30 persons have told me they have done so, of which two of my biggest supporters have found a suspicious early stage mass, which each one is dealing with. I continue to share my story in the hope that more persons will get tested and therefore encourage others to follow.

 As Christmas comes this year, I wish you all Peace, Love, Joy, Good Health and the giving and receiving of gifts all year round.

 

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Life Changes.

Sometimes when you are in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted. ~ Unknown

A few days ago I was reflecting on how much my life has changed over the last few months. Things which used to be high on my priority list, have lost their importance with a new set of priorities emerging to fill their space. A diagnosis of breast cancer, while not necessarily a death sentence, has evoked a shift of mindset as I search for a sense of purpose and meaning for my life.

I have discovered several things on my journey down this new path:

A Source of Inspiration.
Many people ask how I can remain so positive and upbeat about my diagnosis. Years ago when a high school friend was diagnosed with breast cancer, her doctor told her she had six months to live. Instead of being paralyzed by the news, Katrina sat down and created a list of things she wanted to accomplish, including seeing her daughter graduate from Harvard (she was a freshman at the time) and reuniting our high school graduation class, most of whom had drifted apart over the years. She contacted many of us, and word spread of the upcoming reunion in Jamaica, which she singlehandedly organized from California while undergoing numerous experimental treatments. Over 50 of our classmates from all over the world showed up and it was an overwhelming success.

Katrina accomplished every one of her goals and had to create a new list, before she died seven years after her diagnosis. The year she died, I formed a Relay for Life team in her honour, and our team of 30 persons raised over $100,000 towards Breast Cancer Research. Having seen what Katrina accomplished through sheer determination and grit, has inspired me to not lie down and wallow in misery, but to be positive, and hopefully inspire others the way she inspired me.

A New Family.
Breast Cancer survivors are a unique group of persons who have a wealth of strength and resilience which I have been blessed to experience first hand. I have been contacted by several survivors who have not been hesitant to provide me with support, advice and guidance. With this month being dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness, I have seen and heard many stories of resilience and support which give me hope in the face of darkness.

Breast Cancer Ribbon

Who you are is more important that what you have.
It is funny how material things lose their importance when faced with your own mortality. There is nothing more valuable than your relationships with others. My relationship with God, family, friends, co-workers and even acquaintances supersede any physical possession I may have, or wish to acquire.

The importance of Diet and Exercise.
Some people have commented that if I (who lead such a healthy lifestyle with diet and exercise as an important focus) can get breast cancer, then why bother to live healthily? My answer is that I have no idea what would have happened had I not changed my diet and lifestyle four years ago. My recovery from two surgeries in what seems to be a remarkably short time span, I attribute to my body being in peak condition.

My journey of Life continues as I travel my new path with gratitude and plans to bloom wherever I am planted.

Mother's Day 2016 137

The Glass is not Half Full. It is Refillable.

Since writing about my breast cancer diagnosis, I have been overwhelmed by positive responses, encouragement and well wishes from family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and even persons who have never met me. I am humbled and grateful for the support of each person who has rallied around me with prayers, positive thoughts and caring advice. I was deeply touched when a friend told me that she admired my attitude towards my diagnosis, indicating that for me the glass was not just half full, it was refillable. Those words led me to consider what exactly I would be refilling in my glass.

Pouring Water Into Glass On Blue Background

Hope.
Maya Angelou once said that Hope and Fear cannot exist in the same space at the same time. You have to invite one to stay. I choose to fill my glass with Hope.

Purpose.
I strongly believe that my diagnosis at a time in my life when I have never been more healthy or fit, can send an important message that if it can happen to me, anyone is susceptible. My main reason for sharing my story was to encourage other women to do their mammograms, so should they find themselves in a similar situation, they will receive an early diagnosis, giving them a greater chance of full recovery. Since my last blog was posted, ten ladies have indicated that they plan to get their mammograms done, with one already completed. A male friend has also said he plans to have his prostate checked as soon as possible. I hope there are many others also planning to take preventive action.

Goals.
There are many goals I would like to achieve in my life: places to visit, races to complete, photography books to publish, hiking challenges to embark upon and new skills to learn. Some people would call this a bucket list but I consider this to be my glass filling list.

Prayers.
The most overwhelming response I have received is the multitude of prayers offered as groups of prayer warriors, family, friends and strangers have taken on my case as if it were their personal mission to ensure my complete recovery. There will always be room in my glass for prayer, not just for me, but also for all those desperate for prayers in their time of need.

There is one thing of which I am certain: My glass runneth over and over and over.

Overcoming Obstacles: Give up…or Get up?

“Obstacles are like steps, when you overcome them, you go higher.” ~ Terry Mark

Sticking to any diet and exercise plan is never easy.  There were many times I would feel that trying to be fit and healthy was too hard.

It was hard to stick to my diet when people would be having their cake and eating it too…right in front of me.

It was hard to get up before 5am to exercise when everyone else in my house was fast asleep.

It was hard to go to a restaurant and order chicken broth, salad with no fat (or low fat) dressing along with a glass of water, when the rest of the table was indulging in rice and peas and fried chicken, doused in gravy.

And it was hard to spend an hour on meal preparation for the next day when I could be on the couch watching “Scandal” or doing some online shopping for things I wouldn’t really be using anyway.

I remained motivated by doing several things:

  • Focused on my REASON: I kept my photos when I weighed the most nearby, so I would remember why I was doing this in the first place;

    fat face pic
    Mrs H Funeral group - edited

  • Set a series of small GOALS: (such as fitting into a dress one size smaller), then rewarding myself (buying a dress in the new smaller size) when achieving each goal;

    Sunset Beach Vacation 112

  • Focused on the REWARD: As I grew to love exercise, my reward could actually be an extra half hour at the gym (which helped me to reach my ultimate goal. 🙂 )
    image1

The most important thing to remember is that a setback doesn’t need to be permanent. Family and friends provided core support during some of my weakest moments. So, find and build your support system, which will make your journey an easier one.

Would you prefer to give up…or get up?