A Detour is not a Dead End

No journey or road is always smooth and straight without bends. There are dips, turns, hills and obstacles encountered along the way. This was never more evident to me than now. I have chronicled my story…my quest for a healthier and happier me in this blog where I relate what I have learnt through the experience of my battle with weight gain and subsequent health issues, hoping to help others who might be experiencing a similar struggle. This week my journey took a sharp left turn down a dark and narrow, pothole-filled road when I was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in my left breast.

In my despair I asked the questions anyone in this situation would ask: Why me? Why now? I am in the the best physical condition I have ever been, I eat healthily, rarely drink, exercise regularly and try to find the positive in every seemingly negative situation I encounter. So my natural inclination once I “recovered” from the shock (if there ever really is full recovery), was to identify all the positives arising from my diagnosis.

1. Support. Every single person I informed about my diagnosis, has been unquestioningly supportive. From the phone calls, to the offers to take me to appointments, to the prayers with me, I have never felt more loved than I do now.

2. Compassion. Persons who have been in this situation are uniquely qualified to offer advice and none I have encountered have hesitated to share their experiences with me. They have been where I am now, and their stories give me strength when my optimism is weakening.

3. Appreciation. I have learnt to appreciate members of the medical profession who face people like me, (and others with even more severe diagnoses) with a cheerful demeanor and offer encouraging and optimistic words.

4. Determination. Being a naturally competitive person, the importance of a challenge plays an important part of my life. While this may not be a 5K, 10K or even a half marathon, there is more at stake here than a best time or even the completion of a race. I am determined to do whatever I need to do to survive, and hopefully to keep inspiring others.

5. Belief in God. As a Christian, my faith plays an important part in shaping my life. I may not always seem to acknowledge the presence or importance of God in my life, however, in times of crisis there is no greater source of comfort.

As I continue on this journey of life, the most important thing I have learnt is that your outlook plays a major part in your outcome. A detour is not a dead end.

The Power of Encouragement.

 

“It costs nothing to pay someone a compliment, but it is priceless to the person receiving it.”

Last year, I went to an aerobics class at the gym and saw a young lady who had obviously been struggling with her weight. She would get tired after only a few moves, and stopped frequently to catch her breath before continuing with the class. Several weeks later I noticed that she looked smaller than when I had first seen her and told her that whatever she was doing was working because I could see that she had lost weight. She was really pleased that I had noticed, and told me that she had been working very hard to lose the weight.

This reminded me of the times I would be struggling to stick to the exercise program, feeling that it was all pointless, only to have one person come up to me and say that they noticed a difference. That was all it took to renew my commitment to stick to the plan. A simple compliment was the motivation I needed to persevere.

gym-c

Many times the first thing people feel compelled to comment about when they haven’t seen you in a while, is your appearance, and it is usually the negative aspect of your appearance they find worthy of their comment. They do not realize, or maybe don’t even care about how detrimental this can be to someone going through the weight loss/get fit struggle. I now make it a habit to compliment persons who have made progress, once it is noticeable.

Remember that young lady at the gym? Last month after not seeing her for several months, I saw her one morning and was shocked to notice that she was almost half her previous size. She told me that she had started to come to the gym at 4:30am, she had hired a personal trainer, and was vigilant about sticking to her programme. Her appearance was completely changed, but what was even more striking was how confident she had become.

What I learned from my experience:

·       To never comment on the negative aspect of anyone’s appearance since I do not know their struggle or situation;

·       To only commend someone on their appearance if there really is a noticeable change. The comment is only effective if it is genuine;

·       That it costs nothing to pay a compliment or to give a word of encouragement, but it could be priceless to the person receiving it.

Overcoming Obstacles: Give up…or Get up?

“Obstacles are like steps, when you overcome them, you go higher.” ~ Terry Mark

Sticking to any diet and exercise plan is never easy.  There were many times I would feel that trying to be fit and healthy was too hard.

It was hard to stick to my diet when people would be having their cake and eating it too…right in front of me.

It was hard to get up before 5am to exercise when everyone else in my house was fast asleep.

It was hard to go to a restaurant and order chicken broth, salad with no fat (or low fat) dressing along with a glass of water, when the rest of the table was indulging in rice and peas and fried chicken, doused in gravy.

And it was hard to spend an hour on meal preparation for the next day when I could be on the couch watching “Scandal” or doing some online shopping for things I wouldn’t really be using anyway.

I remained motivated by doing several things:

  • Focused on my REASON: I kept my photos when I weighed the most nearby, so I would remember why I was doing this in the first place;

    fat face pic
    Mrs H Funeral group - edited

  • Set a series of small GOALS: (such as fitting into a dress one size smaller), then rewarding myself (buying a dress in the new smaller size) when achieving each goal;

    Sunset Beach Vacation 112

  • Focused on the REWARD: As I grew to love exercise, my reward could actually be an extra half hour at the gym (which helped me to reach my ultimate goal. 🙂 )
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The most important thing to remember is that a setback doesn’t need to be permanent. Family and friends provided core support during some of my weakest moments. So, find and build your support system, which will make your journey an easier one.

Would you prefer to give up…or get up?